Thoughts...

Living alone is hard.

My anorexia loves it.

I love it...at times. 

At other times,not so much.

Im torn between what my eating disorder wants and what i want.

Its very easy not to eat.

It feels good.

But of course we have to eat to stay alive.

I like food.

But i dont deserve food.

I enjoy eating.

So i dont eat as a punishment.

I eat,i feel bad mentally. 

I dont eat,i feel bad physically.

Eating disorders are bloody complex!!!

If only there was a tablet we could take or an operation to remove it.

A magical cure.

A quick fix.

Instead it takes time. Alot of time. And hard work.

But ive seen people recover.

I know its possible.

I just dont know if its possible for me...

xxx

Tips for surviving Christmas x

The following tips along with much more information on eating disorders can be found here- http://www.bodywhys.ie/

The nature of an eating disorder can mean that Christmas can be a particularly difficult time of year.

Some helpful tips for coping with the pressures that can arise at Christmas time:

• Try not to isolate yourself.
• In advance of Christmas, let people know how you are feeling. Talk to them about your fears around food. Try to ease the stress by identifying what might make things less stressful for you. Write out a list and share it with your family. This could help you negotiate ways of having your needs met. Present your list as your coping tools so that others may engage positively to support you in using them.
• If you can identify a family member that you can confide in, enlist their support and work out with them specific ways of coping with the pressures of the day. The more aware they are of your needs, the more confident and willing they will be to help you.
• Write down your feelings if you feel scared. Writing them down can help to dilute or dissipate the feeling.
• Try and keep to your own routine around meal times, etc., if this is important to you.
• Arrange that whoever is doing the cooking knows that you need to have some control over what you eat. Try to negotiate ways of having your needs met well in advance of Christmas Day to prevent a build up of anxiety and stress.

• Try and take time-out from the ‘crowd’, to read quietly, to take a walk, or to listen to music. Tell people in advance that it would help you to be allowed to do this.
• Try to keep things in perspective by taking a realistic view of food and drink. They are only two of the many pleasurable activities at this time of year.
• Be prepared for comments about food and plan your response. Avoid reacting defensively. Instead, respond in a way that invites others to respect your needs(Example: “It’s important for me to be able to manage things at my own pace at this moment” / “If I am allowed to manage things my own way, it will help me to feel less stressed”)
• Try not to expect too much – either of yourself or others, or even of the day – and you will avoid feeling disappointed.
• It is important to remember that you deserve to be happy too, so choose what you want to do as much as you can.
• Whatever way it turns out, remember that Christmas is just one day out of 365 days, so don’t panic.
• Give yourself the gift of acceptance. You are as you are.
• If you really cannot face the celebrations, explore ways of helping others, or escape within the home, if that is possible.
• Try and stay with the present and not look back or forward. It is, after all, only one day.
• If you are feeling overwhelmed, don’t be hard on yourself. Christmas can be overwhelming at the best of times!

 I hope this helps some of you get through the holidays!!! 

Love Aoifs xXx