What to do when you cant sleep?
Blog!!!
My mind is racing and wont let me rest!
I thought i had made up my mind about studying healthcare in September but i just dont know. Something doesnt feel quite right. I keep coming back to fashion. I feel like i have no more time to waste and i have to get this decision right. But I just cannot decide and its driving me crazy!
I thought i wanted to stay away from fashion because it could be triggering...but the more i think about it,the more i think healthcare could be also. I guess there will be triggers throughout life whatever i do and instead of avoiding them,i have to learn to deal with them and not let them affect me.
Both courses start the second week in September so i know i have more time to think,but not knowing which i want to do is making me wonder can i do either of them?
Maybe i should just go back to the safe little world of anorexia...
I have regained the weight i lost in Lanzarote and more on top of that.
I have exactly one stone to gain and i will be at my target weight.
I look so huge compared to my lowest weight,its hard to accept the changes in my body but i definitely appreciate this new found energy that comes from some good nutrition :o)
Living is fun again..
But also extremely scary!
I catch myself thinking several times a day,how much easier it would be to go back to anorexia.
So safe.
Reliable.
Comforting.
But i cant go back. Im not sure id find my way back out again.
So onwards and upwards it is!!!
xxx
