Not just eating...

....but eating out. With people. In a restraunt. In public.

Que panic.

Valium please.

This will be happening tomorrow night.

By choice.

I could NOT go, like i have millions of other times but that would be the easy option and im up for a challenge. And a challenge it is.

Ive looked up and examined carefully the menu online.

ALL of the mains are a no go.

But they do salads as starters...so...would it be ok to have a starter as a main course? Surely im not the only person on the planet who will have asked this?

I just want to go and there be no fuss just FUN.

I dont want it to be about the food.

Its about friends.

FABULOUS friends may i add.

I dont see them nearly enough but they never fail to make me smile.

Now...what to wear...

Wish me luck xxx

Moving on up&going private x

Hey guys!

Just a little update and also to mention to anyone that reads this im setting my blog to private from this week,if you want to keep reading please just follow me. Also i wont be posting my update notifications on facebook or twitter anymore.

Things here have been going much much better. Im still eating well most days and getting closer and closer to target weight. Its scary as hell but im not stopping until i get there.

Recently a number of conversations ive had with different friends and family have just made me so determined to fully recover.

Ive let anorexia rule my life for over 12 years now and its just far too long. I really feel its now or never. I could easily just go along day to day existing and not really living,but i dont want to settle for that anymore. I want a real life,even though it terrifies me just thinking of it.I know its got to be better than another year with an eating disorder.

I want a job and a boyfriend and a house and eventually a marriage and a babies!

I definitely cant hold onto the anorexia and have all those things.

Therapy with Triona is also going really well,its definitely helping me this time round.

She sees people change their lives and live their dreams all the time and she says i can be one of those people too if i keep going in the right direction...and you know, im starting to believe her...

Love Aoifs xXx