Not so much a goodbye...

...more of a 'see you soon'.

Thats kind of how therapy ended yesterday.

We agreed i would have some time out until the 2nd of July and go from there.

I would have liked longer.

Like forever perhaps!!!

I see Dr.M on friday morning and will then find out how long i can have a break from seeing her for. I know some people think im doing the wrong thing and maybe i am but its my mistake to make. I really feel this is a move in the right direction. I feel i have been given everything the hospital can give and taken everything from it over the years...its time i go it alone and see what happens. 

I might fall apart,i might not. I just know im sick of being a sick person. Of going to that hospital twice a week. Of seeing the same people there week after week,month after month,even year after year. I AM one of THOSE people and i dont want to be anymore.

I know of course i am not 'recovered' but i am a million times closer and thats good enough for me for the moment.

I am living life,I am out on my own,im going away,im meeting friends,im going to college,im not sitting at home in bed not eating all day and that to me is something truely amazing.

I dont by any means think everyone should take a break from treatment,but i do think theres a time and place and this is my time.

I hope people who are reading this understand my decision and thank you for all of you who support me,it gives me another reason to keep going.

Take care lovelies xxx

Therapy xxx

I have my usual therapy appointment with T tomorrow and its going to be the last one for awhile.

I think sometimes a break from treatment is greatly needed...this is one of those times.

I know she thinks the going is getting tough and now i want to run but well yeah shes right.

I dont want to de dragged back to years ago and through it bit by bit,tear by tear. Sure the brave thing to do would be stay and fight.

But i feel i will crumble talking about these things.

Im simply not ready...maybe i never will be.

I get on so well with T,ive worked on and off for seven years so it will be hard to say goodbye tomorrow.

Maybe in a few months i will feel differently but for now,im running.

FAST.

Im also spacing out my psych appiontments from every week to once every 2/3 months.

Who knows if this break in treatment will be the making or the breaking of me but its time to give it a good go at least.

Do you think im mad? Is this the right decision?

Any advice welcome :)

Thanks for reading xxx