Its been a rather yucky couple of days.
I choose to eat on monday night and keep it down and this resulted in me self harming.
The only way i can explain this to someone who might think im just crazy is i felt i needed to be punished in some other way because i ate. If i eat there is consequences.
Self harming for me only happens every now and then when im in desperate need of some sort of release.
That night i was desperate.
My dad bandaged up my arms and i saw Dr. M this afternoon and now im feeling rather stupid but much better after talking it all through.
Dr.M said she was worried more about the anorexia and the rate it was going rather than my mood but didnt know what she could do to help me except hope day hospital works some magic for the moment.
Its up to me. I know.
And thats what makes all this so hard...
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