Ok so because of the joy of bedrest for the past 3 and a half weeks i have been stuck in my pjs and i am seriously missing my clothes and putting together outfits. I already know what im going to wear the day i get off bedrest...hahaha that is so uncool of me LOL! I got this amazing vintage daytime dress just before i came into hospital that i am dying to wear! U know when u put something on and instantly ur mood lifts and u feel good in urself? Its not often that happens when youre anorexic but when it DOES happen boy does it feel good!
Only problem is im scared it will be too small for me by the time i get to wear it...i got some growing room in it though so hopefully it will be ok and it wont end in tears!!! Fingers crossed!
Theres only two people around my age in here and then a load of OAPS so i dont have THAT much competition in the fashion stakes....still even while on bedrest i made sure to get new pjs and dressing gowns and hair accessories....sounds a bit vain but i love my fashion and it cheers me up and gives me something to do in the morning...although of course there are the bad days when i wont even wash my hair or put on a scrap of make up but hey we all have those dont we?
The fashion course i was supposed to be starting just before i got admitted have said they will keep a place for me when it starts up on its next term,please dear lord god heavens above i hope i can make it onto the next term and complete it at least then i will feel i have accomplised SOMETHING...although a friend said to me recently fightng anorexia and winning is a huge achievement all on its own....maybe she is right? Its definitely the hardest thing ive had to deal with. Its like going againest everything ive believed in for ten years,all i know and fighting againest that voice in my head is a huge task. My head says one thing,my heart says another...
'Go confidantly in the direction of your dreams. Live the life u have imagined.'
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