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Tuesday 15 March 2011

Blast from the past x

In 2006 i made a scrapbook full of anything to do with anorexia-stories,articles,pictures,poems,quotes and personal targets and writing. When i finished it i gave it to my therapist at the time because i was getting rather obsessive with it all...

Today 5 years later Dr M returned it to me and boy was that weird.

As i flicked through it,i was quite tearful,some of the things i wrote were very disturbing and sad. Some of the things i wrote in it,i still feel them today all these years on. It was almost painful reading it. I showed it to dad and he could only look at a few pages before he was too upset to go on.

It seemed to hit me hard...oh how i wish i could go back and somehow undo all the damage...but i can only look to the future now and make sure the person&disease that made that scrapbook stays in my past. 

I have control of my future now.

xxx


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4 comments:

  1. Ducky15 March 2011 at 14:14

    Every now and again i look back through old diaries and things, but one of the most theraputic things I've ever done is chuck out a load of things like your scrap book, i was going to have a little bonfire, but i had too many....

    Just keep taking the baby steps forward and you will keep that control, you will leave it behind, i'm sending you love, sparkles and courage for anytime yours waivers <3

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  2. Tori15 March 2011 at 17:49

    Aw lovely - i'm sorry that sounds so hard. *hugs*
    You are right though - you can control the future. Its so tempting to look back and wish we could have done things differently, and wish we could be in a different position now.... but it doesnt help. We can learn from the experiences we've had though, and i guess just try not to make the same mistakes. We can control the future - it is in our hands. My wee lovely - you can do this. Don't be scared to let yourself believe that. I believe in you. Keep going. And i am here, always.

    I love you lots xxxx

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  3. Aoifs xXx16 March 2011 at 11:26

    Ducky thank u so much hun. I wrote u a letter today :-) I think throwing out 'skinny' clothes and scrapbooks anything like that is probably a sensible idea and one that will help us move forward to a healthy future? Hope ur ok honey,thanks again xxx

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  4. Aoifs xXx16 March 2011 at 11:29

    Youre right Tori it really IS in our hands...kinda scary huh? But right at this moment i believe its possible to move forward and leave the past in the past where it belongs :-) We can do it!!! Love you loads xxx

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