Letting go x

So so sorry for my last post.

I was going to delete it but i like being honest and why should i delete the truth. Nobody can be positive all the time. Recovery  most definitely has its ups and downs and that is whats real.

My more reasonable head is back on and i havent let my mini meltdown mess things up to much at all. I did lose some of the weight i gainned but according to my psych i coped with things much better than she thought i would-dont know how to take that lol! And weight is definitely not the be all and end all.

Yes i am heavier but also healthier. I have not resorted to ed behaviours a huge amount. Sure they have crept in and i have dabbled in them but i have pulled myself out almost as fast as i fell in to them. I know there will be many more of these bumps in the road but i am ready for them.

I think once you make the decision to let go and be ready to do absolutely anything you can in order to free yourself of your eating disorder it gets a hell of a lot easier. I wont lie,im not there yet and various friends,family and pros have noticed this. But i want to be in that place. I really do.

Ive seen people recover...and it AMAZES me. Like actually amazes me,because i know how hard it is to even try. But it shows hope,it shows its possible. If my friends can recover,why cant i?

Its in my hands and i know that.

Now to let go...



Love Aoifs xxx