Moving on x

Hey guys!

I keep meaning to write but cant seem to find the words...so please excuse if this is rather rambley (is that even a word?!).

I think i have really taken some huge steps in how im thinking lately. Maybe as my weight is going up im becoming more logical or something i dont know? Is that how it works? Being thin used to be all i cared about and now it seems so...unimportant...its taken a back seat...

When i stop and think about my anorexia it makes me so angry at myself. When i look back at my blogs and see me repeating the same cycle and saying the same things over and over again,falling into the same traps,im sad. Some people might say dont look back etc. But i think sometimes we have to stop and look back in order to move forward.

I want to be as free as i can be. Im scared to leave this huge part of my life completely behind but i have to. I refuse to accept anorexia is with me forever. I dont want to be remembered as a disease. I want to be a good friend,daughter,mother,wife not just an anorexic. I want a full and healthy life and i wont stop until i get it,however long it takes.

"The man says, "I will climb this mountain.They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult.But it's my mountain.I will climb it.You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying." 

Love Aoifs xxx