Hello!
Just thought i would do a little update even if its only me reading it lol ;o)
I saw my psych yesterday and i think it may have been the best appointment ive had in years!!! Seriously lol! I didnt even have to have bloods done! I got weighed as usual and it was up a considerable amount but i knew that already so it wasnt a huge shock to me. Dr. M was delighted,she said i was doing fantasticly well and that was beyond proud of me. And not just because i have been gainning weight. She said i looked and sounded so much happier and that she could see my attitude to recovery had totally changed.
Usually all of this would freak me out,but instead it felt great.
I had a big clearout of the clothes that are too small for me now...which was hard but needed to be done. No going back now.
I never thought it possible to feel this way,to be at this weight and cope with it. Im not exactly happy with it but coping with it is good enough for now. Dr. M reminded me im still underweight but i dont think its noticeable at all anymore,which is a good thing as i dont want to be seen as an eating disorder or someone who isnt healthy,i just want to be as normal as possible.
This day next week im off to the sunshine for two weeks and then not back at the hospital until the 27th april so have lots of time to prove i can handle things on my own and without my weekly appointments.
If anyone with an eating disorder is reading this please never give up hope in recovery because no matter how long u have been ill or what age you are it is never too late to recover. I didnt think it was possible but im proving myself wrong every single day.
xxx
This makes me so happy to read. I'm glad you're doing well and feeling good. I know how difficult weight gain is and throwing out old clothes. I'm in a somewhat similar place as you are at the moment and I'm really having a difficult time with it. But though it's emotionally difficult to handle weight gain, I know we both can stick to our meal plans and not let ed sneak his way back into our lives. Much love to you my dear!
ReplyDeleteHi Rae :o) Lovely to hear from you! I always read your blog posts and think u are AWESOME!!! I can really relate to alot of things you write about. We can both do this! Life is so much more fun on ed free days! And i have the feeling,the better we get,the more fun life will be :o) Keep fighting and smiling and thank u so much again :o) xxx
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