A sunny spell x

Hi guys!

What is with all the sunshine? Im LOVING it! Time to bring the maxi dresses back to life :o)

So since i got off bedrest life has got so much brighter! I had a long weekend at home which mostly went very well,then i had a mid week overnight and im getting weekend leave again tomorrow lol basically im at home more than im here now which is bloody fanfuckingtastic :o)

I wont pretend its easy and everything is wonderful cause its still such hard work but im getting there and im having fun as i do it! Im struggling big time with the weight gain and panic when i think how much more i have to gain but at least i can do it at my own pace (within reason) and it will be gradual and easier to deal with...thats what im hoping anyway!!!

I know im not at a healthy weight but i am at a safe weight and my docter is happy with that and so am i. I have every intention of full recovery but im not going to rush it even if some people think i should. We are all different and different things work for different people. I know alot of people still think 'heard it all before aoifs' and i dont blame them but i cant please everyone and make them believe me,i guess with time i will prove it to them.

Anyway i have been hitting the shops BIG STYLE since ive been out and having a ball! Have to say Penneys and Dunnes are on the money right now got some lovely stuff in there and they are great to mix with more highstreet stores. I have most definitely been feeding my addiction on summer bits and bobs as on the 15th of may im going to Lanzarote for two weeks with my friend S! Excited much? Eh YES!

One of my friends from here is pretty ill right now,she is trying so hard but i can see the pain on her face and i just want to make her better,i want her to feel how i feel now. I want her to be able smile again. And i just dont know if theres anything i can do only make sure she knows im here if and when she needs someone who understands. I can see anorexia destroying her just as it did me and i just hope to god she can get through this....maybe this is how some of my friends have felt when im unwell? I dont really believe that though cause i dont think that many of them care anymore as i have been sick so long and not been a good friend to them so really dont deserve them. Its really only friends with eds that bother with me at this stage,im greatful i at least have someone who cares,some people have no one in their world so i am lucky really.

I WILL be a better friend xxx