Living alone is hard.
My anorexia loves it.
I love it...at times.
At other times,not so much.
Im torn between what my eating disorder wants and what i want.
Its very easy not to eat.
It feels good.
But of course we have to eat to stay alive.
I like food.
But i dont deserve food.
I enjoy eating.
So i dont eat as a punishment.
I eat,i feel bad mentally.
I dont eat,i feel bad physically.
Eating disorders are bloody complex!!!
If only there was a tablet we could take or an operation to remove it.
A magical cure.
A quick fix.
Instead it takes time. Alot of time. And hard work.
But ive seen people recover.
I know its possible.
I just dont know if its possible for me...
xxx
I'm sorry you're struggling so much Aoifs. The thing you need to remember though, is that there is only one way out of this - and that involves eating. Feeling bad mentally WILL PASS, honestly it will. Once you're stronger and more stable physically, you'll gradually regain the mental tenacity that you need to really fight the anorexia. It's not easy and it can't happen over night, but it CAN happen and you need to believe that and work with people who are there to help and support you. Don't give up lovely, you're worth so much more than this xxxx
ReplyDeleteThank u my lovely lil. U are an angel. I feel im at a crossroads once again and hopefully ill go in the right direction this time. I know its down to me. Thinking of u and THANK YOU xxx
DeleteHi Aoifs.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are having a difficult time.
Anything is possible for you. Just as others have recovered you too are derserving of a life free of the pain of an eating disorder.
Sending you much love as you continue on your journey.
xoxoxo
Hi Kylie-Rose,
DeleteThank you so much for your lovely message of support. It means alot.
Im only discovering your blog and its very inspirational so thank you :)
xxx