I woke up this morning STARVING!
I dont know if it was the alcohol from the night before or what it was but there was no ignoring this hunger.
I made myself scrambled egg.
I ate it.
And i feel almost good about it!
I weighed myself.
The number has crept up.
I dont care SO much.
Im not going to do my usual 500 leg lifts.
Screw that.
No jogging on the spot either.
I LOVE these days.
When i feel FREE.
Almost...normal?
It probably helped that i went out last night with friends and just had FUN.
It felt good.
So what if i dont weigh 5 stone anymore...who REALLY cares except me?
Do i really want to go down that road yet again?
What is there to gain?
Theres everything to lose.
Its Fathers Day and my dad is due home from Lanzarote this evening.
Im going to take him out to dinner.
And enjoy it.
Two fingers up to anorexia!!!
xxx
You go! Remember these days and make more of them!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes they just appear out of the blue with no apparent forcing or effort. Sometimes I think recovery is a drip drip effect, and when you realise recovery is happening it is little moments like this, and it feels like stepping into a sunny clearing in the middle of a gloomy wood.
Feeling 'normal' is so much of a relief when you have been used to striving for the abnormal. You can just BE and be content.
Keep them coming! xxxxxxxxxx
I will Katie,thank you :o)
Deletexxx
Reading this gave me happy tears, well done lovely! I hope you're still feeling positive.
ReplyDelete"It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it" :)
Love you xxx
Yeyyy for happy tears :o)
DeleteThanks honey.
I hope youre ok and feeling positive too.
Love u lots my lovely lil xxx