Hey guys,
I just wanted to write here and let any readers know im taking a break from this blog. Although its a good place to vent and get positive support i feel its holding me back from moving on in some way.
The past few weeks have been the hardest since i got discharged at the end of january. Not so much weight wise although i have slowly been losing some again but more mood wise.
I have always found that when i am eating and gainning weight my mood plummets drastically and i isolate. When i am restricting/starving and losing weight i am high as a kite. Although physically weak. Its trying to pick the lesser of two evils.
At the moment i am in a restrictive phase and so feeling a little better in myself BUT i do not want to slip back into this-
I must never let it happen again.
So today i had a starbucks mocha light frapp and a piece of 'rocky road' which set me up for the day. I wanted to do it and it felt good but by the time dinner time came around i was racked with guilt and couldnt manage anything. It seems to be a constant struggle at the moment. But like i said im not prepared to end up in a dangerous place again so i will try and try until i win.
Wish me luck.
Love Aoifs xxx
Never give up fighting. You are worth it. Sending you all the love and hope in the world.
ReplyDeletexo
Things will get better. Its anorexia that hates that you're gaining weight.. but its not a bad thing. You will get your energy back. When your starving, its the wrong sort of energy you have...
ReplyDeletewhen you eat you get energy.
Please dnt give up, dont give in to anorexia. Keep strong. Life is so much more then anorexia.. to live and laugh and enjoy eating! To not worry abotu how you look, what food you eat etc etc!
I wish you all the luck!